


Bend

by denna5



Series: Bend, Do Not Break [2]
Category: Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Genre: Brainwashing, Captivity, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape/Non-con References, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:54:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denna5/pseuds/denna5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A companion fic to Break to Mend with non Bane POV.<br/>Officer Robin John Blake has potential and Bane will see it grow even if he must be broken to see the truth. After all, broken things can be mended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So hopefully people will like the non Bane POV stuff as well. Let me know what you think

There is so little in this world that is worth true devotion. There are also very few who are capable of true devotion. These are lessons Barsad had learned long ago.

Barsad has always been a man of devotion. It had taken time for him to find a cause, to find those who are worthy, but once Bane and Talia had entered his life, he knew he had found something to follow. Bane and Talia know devotion, to each other and to a cause. It may be their bond more than anything that drew Barsad to them that made him theirs. He has followed them and will continue to do so till his last breath, even if he does not always understand their choices. 

The officer that Bane had him fetch is one of those choices. 

Barsad understands that Wayne seems to have an attachment to him ,that he is a way to hurt their former brother but he is not sure if he approves of the plans that Bane has for the man. Barsad can admit there is spirit in Officer Blake. When he had found him, he was angry, his eyes fierce in a way that Barsad had not expected to see in Gothom. He fought, not particularly well but more than some have in the past. Barsad thought the man had earned a quick death when the time came but it was when he talked about the Officer’s fate with his brother that he found there were different plans in mind. 

“ Wayne is searching for Officer Blake. When do you want him to find the body?” 

Barsad had him placed in the chamber but has not seen him since. He knows Bane went and spoke to him but so far Barsad does not know the man’s fate yet, but what other fate could an officer of the law have here besides their death? 

“There will be no body for Wayne to find.” 

Bane’s words are simple but raise questions in his mind. 

“ Do you intend to keep him alive? For what purpose?” 

Barsad makes sure to keep his tone respectful but he is unsure of his brother’s intentions.

“The same purpose we serve.” 

This makes something tighten in Barsad. He thought that this had been about Wayne’s suffering but now he is not so sure. 

“You intend to offer him a place with us.” 

Barsad does not ask, he has always been able to read Bane well.

“I have already.” 

There is no way Blake accepted, Barsad is certain of it. Whatever spirit the man may have, he is chained to this city, and the uniform he wears is proof of it. 

“Did Officer Blake accept?” 

Barsad still asks. 

“No, he did not. He is still clinging to the idea of Batman ,of what he thinks he is to be. He will understand in time.”

Bane is confident. There is a glint of determination in his eyes and Barsad knows that he will just have to wait for Bane to grow bored of the Officer, for whatever spark Bane thinks he sees to fade. 

“You do not approve.” 

There is no anger in the words, but Barsad can sense a hint of amusement in his brother’s tone, as if Barsad’s approval will come soon. Barsad just simply stands with his expression neutral and tells Bane what he thinks. 

“ I am unsure that Officer Blake could be one of us but I will follow your instructions as always.” 

Bane nods at his words and Barsad takes it as a dismissal. As he exits the room, Bane says something to him.

“ He is not part of that system now that Wayne has brought him to my attention, I would prefer you not call him Officer in my hearing.” 

Now, it is Barsad’s turn to nod. It is an order even if it had been phased as a request. He will not call the man Officer in front of his brother but he will continue to address the man as such in his own thoughts. 

A little time passes but Bane’s interest in Officer Blake has not. Barsad had expected the man to break beyond repair by now. If there was the fire of the League in the man, Barsad had expected Gothom’s corruption to smoother it out long ago. 

Officer Blake has not shattered yet, he stays surprisingly strong. Barsad does not even hear as many cries of pain anymore. Barsad is still uncertain that the man is meant for their path but now he thinks that if they had found him and took him from this place in his youth he would have been for certain. 

Wayne is broken and Bane calls him away from the other men and gives him a task. 

“Bring the little bird here. Have him bound but he should not be clothed. I want his marks shown, want Wayne to see what he has lost and what I have gained.”

Barsad knows what this will do to Wayne, what it will do to the Officer. 

“This will break them.” 

Bane’s eyes glitter with knowledge, with faith. 

“It will. John’s fire will still burn and he can be mended, brought onto his path clear of Wayne’s influence.” 

Barsad is not as sure as his brother about that but he goes to get the man. 

He expects the officer to be in a heap on the floor, still worn from what Bane did earlier. When Barsad opens the door, he does not see him on the floor but the uniform is not there either. He assumes for just a moment that it was put on to cover shame but when he sees Officer Blake make for the door he knows that they were put on for this chance at escape. 

“Now, Officer Blake, it is not time for you to leave us quite yet.” 

He puts disdain in the man’s title as he grabs him. Barsad is surprised by the anger he sees. It was despair he had expected at this point. Officer Blake struggles with everything he has and his fists lash out. He is fast and one fist manages to land on Barsad’s cheek, staggering him just a tiny bit before he recovers and pushes the other man to the floor roughly. Barsad is shocked the man landed a hit. 

“I thought you would want to see your Batman, Officer. Or at least what remains of him.” 

The mention of Batman makes his eyes flare with something, something, Barsad recognizes. Devotion, true devotion in something. Batman is not worthy of such pure belief but Barsad is perhaps starting to see what his brother has spoken of. If his devotion can be shifted to something more worthy, it will be beautiful. 

He pins Blake down, tears off his uniform. He will not need it. Blake struggles the whole time, his anger evident. Barsad is eager to see what will happen now, if this spark he thinks he sees will remain once Blake sees they symbol of his faith broken. 

The man is bound now, his mouth silenced. Barsad starts to drag him out of the room. 

“Come along, Blake, you are needed elsewhere.” 

It takes Barsad a moment to realize that he did not put Officer in front of his name, that he has started to see him in different terms in the last few moments. It is the slightly widening of Blake’s eyes that make Barsad realize what he has said. Blake knows something has shifted and is not sure what it means. 

Barsad watches him as things play out, waits for the fire to fade. He is amused by Blake’s stubbornness he shows when he tries to bite Bane’s fingers. The fire stays in those eyes, even with all the pain and fear that also appear in them. 

Blake is taken back to his room by Bane and Barsad goes about getting Wayne ready for his trip. He greets Bane at the door and when he is asked about the mark on his cheek he answers. 

“Our little bird, he managed a hit. He has speed but he will be quicker soon. There is much to show him that I am sure his police training did not cover.”

It is all his brother needs to hear to know that Barsad understands now. He takes the clothes, make sure they are covered in s a little blood before disposing of them. They will tell a lie of John Blake’s death if they are found , giving them more time to mold the fire. Now that Barsad can see that John can have faith, he will make sure that faith is put in something worthy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

Officer John Blake, rookie of Gothom’s police force, angry orphan of the city , believer in Batman and Gothom, John knows that is who he is even if it seems Bane is trying to convince him differently. There are moments when John worries that it is starting to work but he can not break from this. 

When he was first brought below the city he was sure that he had been brought here to be killed. He would fight it, may not survive but he would not go down with out a fight. When Bane entered the room, he was being kept in, John prepared himself to fight but Bane made no move to attack. Instead, he started to speak and John was surprised how civil the man sounded through the mask. 

“Ah, Officer John Blake, it is nice to see you face to face. We have much to speak about. You may sit if you would find it more comfortable.” 

Bane gestures with one arm to some bedding that has been placed in the corner. That bedding is a sign they intend to keep him here for a bit. 

“ I’m fine standing.” 

John doesn’t say anything more than that. He won’t back down if Bane attacks but he knows he may not stand much of a chance if he hits the man first. 

Bane’s eyes seem smile above his mask and John is sure that is not a good thing. 

“Very well. You were brought to my attention through watching Mr. Wayne. It seemed quite a coincidence that after you spoke to him, Batman returned. You seem to have caught his interest.”

So that is why he is here, to hurt Bruce. John tries not to show any of his emotions about Bruce show on his face. He won’t give Bane ammunition. Bane has walked closer to him. John doesn’t back away. Bane seems pleased by this, if the look in his eyes is an indication. 

“There is no reason to wear a mask here. I have already seen through yours, seen the anger you try to hide. There is much more you could do than be a part of this city. I am offering you a place with us.”

It was not what John was expecting but he knows his answer. 

“No way in hell.”

He is expecting to be hit, to be told it is a join or die type deal but what he does not expect is Bane running his fingers across his jaw and staring at his face like he sees something wonderful there. He tries to not flinch from the touch. 

“Stubborn but I will help you understand in time.” 

He leaves the room after that and John is alone. The next time Bane comes after an hour or so, is the first time he touches him, rapes him. John fights with all that he has but it does no good. After it is over, Bane washes him gently. John refuses to cry, whatever Bane is trying to do, John won’t let it happen. 

Bane never calls him officer except for that first meeting. Sometimes Bane calls him little bird, an endearment that makes the anger in John boil. 

His time here takes on a pattern. He is only given things he needs in Bane’s presence and Bane is the only person John sees. Isolation and dependence, both things used to try to break someone, John knows this and he tries not to think about it. Bane speaks with him, tries to engage John in conversation about what Bane thinks is the truth of the world, about how wrong Gothom is. John fights when Bane takes him and tries not to come when Bane works to bring him to pleasure. John knows that he can not control his body as much as he would like and it is just a response but he still hates a little part of himself when he climaxes from the man’s touch. 

The day Bane beats Batman comes and John feels something in him crack a little. It is not a break, he won’t break for this man, but John did not realize he could feel such pain and fear in one single moment like he had when he saw Bruce lying there. Everything after that happens quickly, Bane taunting Bruce, the gun to Bruce’s head, Bane talking about his supposed gifts and then the kiss. 

John had thought about kissing Bruce but it had never entered his head that it could happen like it did. He had wanted to touch him but his hands were bound, and Bane’s dried cum all over him. John tries to loose himself in the kiss and he does for a moment and then Bane pulls him away. John has never hated any one more than in that moment. He fights like always but it does nothing. Bane grabs him, holds him till he gives into his exhaustion. 

When John wakes after that, his hands are free and he has been cleaned. He goes to put on his uniform as he has done every time it has been removed and stare at his badge to remind himself why he can’t break but they are not there. Bane’s second, Barsad, enters at that time and hands him clean cloths. John demands to know where Bruce is, where his uniform is but Barsad calmly tells him that those are things he does not need to know. The man is no longer calling him officer in that disdainful tone as he had done before and it worries John. John had noticed that something had changed when he had managed a hit on the other man but he does not know what. 

Bane starts to teach him after his uniform is taken. John fights it, does only what he has to. He can not give in. He can not break but he starts to feel himself bend and he knows that he needs to get away from here before he loses Officer John Blake to what Bane is trying to make of him.


	3. Chapter 3

-*-*-*-*-*-  
The mask had been to protect those he cared about. It was not too long ago that he had told John that but here now in the pit, it feels like a lifetime ago in some ways. The mask was supposed to protect those he cared about but in the end it had not done that at all. 

He hadn’t been able to save his parents, but that was before the mask. The mask would not have existed without his parents’ death. Batman had not been able to save Rachael. That had eaten away at him all those years, the idea that he could have had a life with her. It was a different kind of hurt when Alfred told the truth, when he found out she had chosen another life that she was never going to be his in the end. The mask drove Alfred away, made the one constant in Bruce’s life leave. Bruce supposes that Alfred leaving may save him but it is little comfort right now. Batman drew John to him and Bruce felt himself drawn to the other man in much the same way and that was what caused Bane to notice him. 

The failure to protect John causes a pain in him that matches the brokenness of his body. The agony of his body and his sense of loss are his constant companions in this place. John had barely been in his life but now Bruce is not sure he will ever see him again. He remembers finding out he was missing, shortly after the stock exchange fiasco, the absolute worry he had. He searched, gave into a moment of loneliness and slept with Miranda knowing that she was not what he wanted in that moment. When Selina told him she could help him find Bane, Bruce took the chance. 

It had been a setup. After the fight, when he lay broken on the ground, Bane had taunted him about John, said he would be able to say good bye. Bruce had in many ways expected a body but seeing John alive gave him both a sense of relief and anger. It was obvious what had been done to him and Bane’s actions towards him were just more confirmation of the fact. Bruce had wanted to break every single finger of Bane’s after they had touched John in that almost tender way they had. 

Then there had been the kiss. Bruce tries not to think of it, knowing that Bane wants him to. John’s lips had been soft and when Bruce allows himself a moment of weakness, he imagines kissing them again. When he sleeps , the few times his rest here has had dreams instead of nightmares, he dreams of that first and only kiss they have had happening differently, of it being something they had done because they both wanted it and not because of the whim of some monster. Sometimes, John starts it first, confident in most of the dreams, but there had been one dream where he had been hesitant , all sweet shyness. Bruce often dreams that he begins it, that it then leads to more than a kiss. He tries not to think of the dreams; they do him no good here. 

Time moves slowly in the pit, with only Bruce’s thoughts to focus on. He waits to see Bane make his move but it is not happening as quickly as he thought it would. His broken vertebras are kicked back into place and his body starts to heal slowly. Most of the men here do not acknowledge him, the only ones are the man who is paid to make sure he lives and the broken down doctor. Bruce hears their chanting whenever someone tries to make the climb and then he hears the sickening thud or crack when they fail. The other men do not make as much noise when it happens but Bruce can feel the defeat in the air. If not for what Bane has done, Bruce could almost feel pity for him having to grow up in this place, but when he starts to feel that way he thinks of John, of what Bane has done to him, of Bane’s last words before he left him here and the pity becomes hate. 

It is hard to keep track of time here. It seems to be both slower and faster here, separated from the rest of the world. Bruce knows that he has been here for weeks, maybe even a month, when finally there is something shown on the TV. He sees Bane speak about the bomb, sees the panic Gothom has, but the thing he focuses on the most is that John is nowhere to be seen. Bruce is not sure what that means, if John is dead now or hasn’t given in yet, he just knows that there is relief in not seeing him by Bane’s side. 

Bruce believes John won’t give in, but he knows that people can be broken, can be swayed, and the thought of John giving up on Gothom, giving up on him, hurts more than the idea of his death. He has seen good men fall before, has reminded himself of it everytime anyone would say the name Harvey Dent, and if John was to fall because of him, Bruce is not certain he could live with it.

When Gordon’s speech is read, Bruce knows he has to get out of this place. He can not let Gothom or John stay in Bane’s hands. The climb is the only way. 

The rope feels heavy around his waist and he still has not gained back all of his strength. He can hear the chant when he starts. He focuses on the climb, on the fact that Gothom needs him, that John needs him. The hand holds are not much and the foot holds are very much the same. All it takes is one slip and he falls down. All that is broken in the fall is another piece of his spirit.


	4. Chapter 4

-*-*-*-*-*-  
Once true devotion is given it is hard to break. This is a fact Barsad must remind himself any time he gets frustrated at Blake for not giving up on Gothom completely yet. Barsad is certain the boy gave his faith to this place and Wayne long ago, before he knew any better. It is now their duty to educate him. Bane has entrusted him with some of John’s education and it is a duty he takes very seriously. 

Now that Barsad sees the fire in John, he is ashamed that he had denied its existence those first few days. He had been blinded by the man’s chosen duty but Bane had seen the truth before. Barsad knows now that his brother was right. It is taking longer for John to accept Bane’s knowledge. 

The speech has helped put a dent in John’s faith in Gothom and Barsad is doing his best to turn that dent into a crack, one that will grow until John’s faith in this place has been crumbled and his devotion brought to the League. There are ways to help the process but Bane does not want to use the chemicals that Barsad can prepare yet so they must rely on words and actions for now. 

It would be easier if they could take John from here. He knows that he is still in Gothom and that gives him a false sense of hope. He has not tried a full-fledged escape for a while but Barsad knows that he still thinks that maybe he will be able to leave them. Barsad and Bane have tried to lead him to believe that no one is looking for him, even though there are still searches through the tunnels. If he could be separated from Gothom, then he would accept much more quickly, Barsad is certain of it. There is too much to do here and so John must start his training here. 

John has improved quite a bit, has even started to spar with multiple partners, but Barsad knows that he is still holding back. He still tries to fight like the police sometimes, tries to adhere to Wayne’s moral code. 

“I can’t kill.”

The words are not shouted but there is enough anger in them that they might as well have been. Barsad had been showing the little bird killing blows but John is refusing to repeat them.

“Everyone can kill. It is a simple thing, you will see.”

These words make John tense up in stubbornness. 

“I won’t kill.”

“You are still clinging to his ways. They will do you no good. You are not his anymore, Blake.”

It is the truth even if John will not acknowledge it. Everyday, Barsad can see him giving in a little bit at a time. If he was ever truly on Wayne’s path, it has been changed now. 

“Wayne has killed, even if it was not by landing a death strike. He has left things to burn, has left some to die. It is better to own one’s sins, to know that the blood you have spilled was done for a cause. If the wicked are not struck from the earth, it is the innocent that suffer. We are offering you a chance to become more than Wayne could be, to help this world.” 

Barsad puts pure belief into his words. John has belief in Gothom, in Wayne, but Barsad knows that eventually his belief will fade and be replaced by one that will be stronger. John’s eyes see more than most and soon they will see that this place can not be saved. 

John does not attack him even though Barsad can see how very angry he is right now.

“ I have already said no. I am part of this city, part of the police here. I know you hate them, hate me, so why are you going along with what Bane says? I don’t think you would want some unworthy cop in your club.” 

Barsad knows what John is trying to do, how he is hoping to anger Barsad or turn him against Bane. The man is clever, he had seen how faithful Barsad is to the League and how much disdain he used to have for him and is now trying to use both against him. It will not work. 

Instead of lashing out as John had expected , Barsad places a knife in his hand. He closes his fingers around John’s so that John is gripping the knife tightly. He places himself behind John and as he speaks calmly, he guides John’s hands through the motions he showed him earlier. John is stiff in front of him but does not try to move yet. 

“I allowed myself to be blinded by the symbol of your imprisonment here. I have seen the truth now. You are our brother, you have the fire, and it is our duty now to guide you to the correct path.” 

Barsad loosens his grip on John’s hand just slightly. It is a risk but Barsad knows it is a needed one. John notices the change in pressure and takes advantage. He elbows Barsad and gets out of his grip still holding the knife. The only way out of the room is through Barsad. He does not go to attack John, instead he stands calmly. 

“If you want to leave this room, you will have to kill me, little brother. I will do all that I can to prevent you from leaving. If you go through with this, you may escape but you will have broken your Batman’s vows.”

 

“Don’t call me that.” 

John’s eyes blaze when they say that. Barsad still does not move and remains calm. 

“It is a term of honor. You will understand in time, it is not a title given freely, only to those who are worthy and you are, even if you have been led astray till now.” 

His words affect John, he can see it in his eyes, in the way John grips the knife tighter. They are at a standstill but Barsad knows it will not last but a few moments. 

When John makes his move, Barsad counters, John thrusts with his armed hand, the knife cuts into Barsad’s arm. It is barely a wound but John should use it to his advantage, should place his knife into Barsad’s gut. He does not. Instead he tries to run to the door. Barsad ignores the blood flowing from his arm and prevents John from getting to the door and quickly disarms him. John is on the floor now and Barsad can feel the frustration come off of him in waves. 

“It is a good cut but you should not have stopped there. Come, Bane is waiting.” 

John allows Barsad to pull him up with his unharmed arm. John does not speak the whole time they walk but Barsad knows that he is thinking about what has happened. Every few moments he glances at the cut on Barsad’s arm. Barsad can see a bit of satisfaction in the small glances but also a bit of regret and a little glimmer of guilt. That guilt is beautiful, lets Barsad know that John is starting to feel a bond here. Barsad has already felt it, has enjoyed John’s company, as hostile as it may be sometimes, and looks forward to John becoming a true brother soon. 

The next few days Barsad works on John’s possible feelings of fellowship, treats John as fondly as John will allow. There will not be much time for it soon. Gothom’s reckoning will start and John may not be ready to stand by their side for it but Barsad is certain that by the end of it, he will be.


	5. Chapter 5

-*-*-*-*-*-  
John is not sure what to believe in anymore. He thought that once he had escaped he would feel sure of himself again. There are cracks that have formed in his once unbreakable faith and he is doing his best to seal them but he is uncertain if it is working. He feels he may have changed, though he fought against it but it was hard fighting against someone so strong, so sure in their beliefs, so determined. Bane is like water crashing against a rock, slowing wearing it down and changing its shape and the time John had been forced to spend with him may have worn him in a way that is hard to recover from. 

Gordon’s speech almost destroyed him. He had always know that there was something strange about the night of Dent’s death, had always know that Batman wasn’t a killer but to find out the actual truth hurt. All the progress it seemed Gothom had made towards cleaning up was all based on a lie. He tried telling himself it was a lie, a trick by Bane, but the handwriting was familiar and John had always noticed Gordon’s hesitation when talking about that night.   
He did not fight as hard for a while after that. When it seemed he was giving, he was given more privileges, more freedom. He hated how after a bit it hadn’t seemed so bad, how he would feel pride when he was complimented on his learning, how he wouldn’t fight Bane’s arms around him, how he almost enjoyed the warmth of another body next to him. When that started happening, he forced himself to think of his kiss with Bruce, how badly it had hurt to see him hurt like that, and then he could remember how much he hates Bane, how much he doesn’t want to be a part of the man’s plans. 

It would have been easier if it had just been Bane that he had to deal with but Barsad, the man’s second, seemed just as determined to force John into their ways. He hadn’t been that way at first but he changed and it made it harder to fight when there was no one there who hated him. When he couldn’t kill Barsad to escape, he knew it was because he is not a killer but there was a small part of him that felt like he did not want to hurt him. That scared him more than anything. 

When John had his chance, he ran. He had to get away from Bane, away from the small, isolated world he had been forced into. John knew that something horrible was going to happen to Gothom and he was proven right. Most of the police are trapped, the ways out of Gothom blocked, and Bane has turned Gothom into a hell hole. 

He thought he would feel better once he was away from Bane, thought he would feel like himself again. At first he thought all his unease was because of everything that was happening to Gothom, knowing Gordon lied and seeing that lie be exposed to everyone but now he knows that Bane had managed to shake his faith in this place more than he wanted to admit. 

Gothom is still worth fighting for, John tells himself this and he fights for it. Despite all his anger at Gordon he still stands by him. He is a good man and sometimes good men make mistakes. Gordon was ashamed of what he had done even as he tried to justify what he did but he had been relieved to see John alive, had even saved his badge which had been damaged and bloodied before it was found. It made John feel like a little bit of his faith is rewarded since Gordon did not give up on him like he was led to believe. 

They talked very little of what happened to John in the sewer and he is sure Gordon knows more than what John told. His neck had a mark still from Bane, his version of a hicky in a way. Gordon treats him as normaly as possible, trusts him to do what needs to be doen. Some of the others who fight don’t trust him completely, find it suspicious that John lives when most other cops found by Bane do not. John understands why but it still angers him, still hurts him in a way. He felt lonely with only Gordon and the kids at St. Swithin’s glad to see him alive. It was a few weeks after the occupation began when John found someone else that trusted him.

He had gone to the Wayne building for a vantage point and ended up finding the board. He mostly dealt with Fox and Tate and they told him of the bomb’s shelf life and it made John sick to his stomach. He has become close with Tate despite his early misgivings. John knows that he was uneasy around her at first because she had hinted at having a relationship with Bruce before everything happened. John could feel a pang of jealousy and anger. He felt ridiculous for it. It wasn’t Miranda’s fault and besides he had no claim on Bruce but just the idea that she got to have him while he was being held by Bane hurt. 

The thought of Bruce in general hurt. He had no idea where the man was, if he was still alive even. John holds on to the idea that he will come back to Gothom, he has to. Bane had wanted to break John’s faith in Bruce, in Batman, in Gothom and John can not let that happen. 

John tries not to think of everything that happened, of everything he was forced to learn. He tries not to use the skills he learned. With some that is a bit difficult and when he finds himself making a fire or wrapping a wound the way that they taught him, he tells himself that it is not giving into them. He won’t use most of the fighting that they taught him if he can help it and he won’t kill. Gordon makes him carry a knife since there are few guns to spare and he doesn’t want John unarmed completely. John ignores the knife for the most part, doesn’t sharpen it when he can hear Barsad in his head telling him how to do it. 

Weeks pass and finally it seems like something might be done. Outside agents come in and John is the one to bring them to Fox and Tate. John feels frustrated when they seem content to do nothing after they are told about the bomb. Bane’s words about the system being broken seem to echo in his head as the agents start to walk off. 

It is only a few moments later when commotion is heard. Bane has found them, found the agents. There is a leak somewhere and John knows that some of the men will think it is him. He flees with Miranda, he can’t let her get hurt and he knows that he might get killed on the spot for the fact that he had escaped Bane before. A part of him knows that he fears being taken by Bane, held against his will till it changes more than the idea of death. 

“John, we can not go Gordon and the others, not yet. There is someone who told them what was happening.”

Miranda’s voice is calm considering how they are hidden in a dirty ally way. He hears what she didn’t say, that some will think it was him. She has become the one he confides to and she knows that he had been captured before.

“It wasn’t me, I swear.”

John needs her to believe him.

“I know it was not but we still can not go back there till we are certain the informant did not say where you had been meeting.”

The faith in him that is in her voice makes him feel better. They go to the narrows and trying to avoid patrols they get separated. He searches for her and when he finds her again the sight he sees makes him spring into action in a way he had sworn not to do.

She had been corned by a thug of a man, one of the former inmates. The man was tugging at her scarf, holding her against the wall. John knows what he plans to do to her and he will not let that happen to the one who he feels like is one of his few allies right now. Before he knows he has pulled the knife from his pocket. His movements are quick, he had been forced to practice them so many times that his body does it with out thinking right now. The knife is dull but it still cuts through the man and soon the man is on the ground taking his last breath. He is barely aware of Miranda grabbing his hand and dragging him away. Soon, they are in an apartment and after checking everything, John finds himself in the bathroom. 

There is still running water here and it only as John turns it on that he realizes that he is still clutching the knife. It is sticky with cooling blood and his fingers are covered with it as well. He tosses it on the floor. His hands aren’t shaking but he feels like they should be. He scrubs his hands under the cold water and one thought keeps repeating in his head. It had been so easy. He has taken a life and it wasn’t difficult at all. He feels a part of himself start to crumble. Nauseous overcomes him as he leaves the bathroom and sits down outside of it. 

Miranda comes over to him, handing him some water that he starts to drink. It tastes slightly bitter. She sits beside him, soothing him, encouraging him to drink more water.

“There is nothing for you to be upset about, you did what you had to. You have such a spark, such fire.”

Something feels off as she says those words. He stops drinking. He places the water next to Miranda. .Miranda has her hand in his hair and the touch seems possessive almost in a way. His body feels so worn out right now, almost numb. 

“You did well today but it is time for you to return to your lessons, little bird, time for you to come back to those who you belong with.” 

As soon as the words little bird leave her lips, John is trying to get up and away from her. He feels too weak and Miranda holds him to his spot, stronger that she appears. He feels betrayed, lost, trapped, and he is angry at himself for not seeing through her. 

“It is alright, John. I understand what drew you to Wayne, but now it is time to let him go. Those who you allied yourself with can not appreciate you. We will be your family, we will take care of you better than this city ever could.” 

“No.”

His voice comes out loud and he still is trying to get up. Whatever she has put in the water, it is making it difficult to stand. Her hands leave him briefly and he can see them reach into her pocket. She pulls out a syringe and John fights but she gets the needle into his neck. He can feel the liquid entering his body. She pulls it away and her fingers gently rub at the mark left behind. 

“What did you do?” 

His voice comes out choked. He can’t go back to Bane, he won’t. She is not letting him up. He can feel himself want to cry, to scream but his body feels so tired and a strange sense of calm starts to settle over him. 

“It is just something to make sure your lessons stick. You are so stubborn but you will learn better soon.” 

He shakes his head no but she grabs it and stills him. She is looking at him with a look of affection and determination. 

“Nothing will harm you now, I promise you. You are our brother and soon you will help us to cleanse this world. ” 

Her voice is soft and her words sound so much like what Bane used to tell him. She speaks with him for a little while and as she talks , her words start to sound reassuring in a way, start to sound right. She picks up the water and when she tells him to drink so that he may rest, he finds himself nodding and taking it. As she lays him down with his head in her lap, fear that he is going to lose himself forever comes crashing over him. The last thing he hears before darkness claims him is that Bane will be here soon and John hates the feeling of relief that washes over him due to what has just been done to him.


	6. Chapter 6

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The one person Talia has always had faith in is Bane, her friend, her protector. There was nothing he would not do for her, nothing he would not give her. So much of Talia’s fire, her desire to rise above her surroundings came from Bane, from him encouraging it, and helping it to grow. That was something her father could not understand, only seeing him as proof of her life in the pit but not realizing that he was also why she was able to have life outside of that hell as well. Even with as poorly as her father had treated him, Bane had seen the worthiness of her father’s work, had helped Talia to plan a vengeance against his killer. She has always been grateful to him, wanted him to have everything he could ever desire and so when John caught his eye she gave her approval.

Talia had felt a little sting of jealousy perhaps at first, confusion that some young cop had managed to catch her protector’s eye but it faded quickly. Bane did not want John just for himself, did not want to take him as simply a way of fulfilling his body’s needs, but wanted him for the League, as a brother, someone to work with them. She has always placed her trust in him and if he sees a spark in this Robin John Blake, Talia knows it must be there. It also helped that his interest in John would hurt Wayne, make the man suffer more for walking away from his path, putting this city above all else, throwing away his potential. 

She was unable to see Bane’s little bird after he was first caught, could not risk being near the tunnels but Barsad brought her news of him, of his doubts about the man’s potential. Talia did not tease or admonish him for not understanding Bane’s motives. Barsad would not be worth so much if he did not have his own thoughts, they have more than enough men who follow blindly, but Barsad will follow no matter what while still letting them know what he thinks. It is after Wayne refuses to leave this city, after Bane breaks him, that Barsad tells her that Bane was right to take John, that he is a brother who does not realize it yet. 

After the fall of Gotham starts, she is given news that John has run, has managed to escape. She is surprised that he has managed it and a little angry that he does not know that what Bane is doing is for the best, that he is saving John from burning with this city. It does not change much, Bane will stick with Gotham’s fall but he will want John back if it is possible. She is aware of his plans to keep John with him if they can find him again and she makes sure that Barsad has all he will need to make the chemicals. 

It is not very long into Gotham’s fall that John shows up at Wayne tower. Talia takes the time to look over him, sees why Bane would take him into his bed. She decides to take the next few days to get to know him, to make sure he is worthy of Bane’s attention. If he is not, she will take care of it. 

It does not take long to see John’s fire. He is so determined, that is clear for anyone to see, but there is deep anger in him. She had already known that he was clever, not many had figured out Batman’s identity after all but she is impressed by him all the same. He could do so much with the proper guidance. Bane is right that he should be theirs and Talia will make sure he returns to her protector but he provides a tool that they would otherwise not have, a set of eyes and ears that are close to Gordon in ways she cannot be. 

Talia makes sure to earn his trust, to have him see her as a friend as the days pass. Bane is pleased that she has contact with him, that he is not completely without guidance during this time. She encourages his doubts in Gotham, in Wayne, and Gordon while also encouraging his attachment to her. He is guarded, hides himself behind a mask, but he is so very lonely and soon he is opening up to her, trusts her. It is only a few weeks after she first meets him that he tells her about his time with Bane.

He is hesitant about it, doesn’t want to burden her but he has no one else to speak to about this, not wanting to speak about it with Gordon and knowing that many in the resistance are unsure of him. John still tries to shield some of it from her, is careful with what he says but he opens up as the days go by. There is pain in his voice when he speaks but also at times there is slight doubt in it, as if he is not sure what happened was as painful as he thought it was. 

Talia listens intently to the little bits of information he gives her. She knows of the events, knows that Bane took John in a way he would have preferred to not have happen, but she is intrigued to hear it from John. She has always known Bane as her protector, has never been afraid of him. It is strange hearing him spoken about as a monster, to hear the way John spits out his name with hate and fear. John never cries when he tells Talia of what happened though at times his voice will waver and he has to take her hand to stop from shaking. 

Talia comforts him during this time, knows that everything he has gone through has been painful. It would have been better if he had been found before he made his vows to Gotham but that is something that cannot be changed. John is a stubborn thing, so much fire but he has built a wall around it, a wall that must be crumbled so that the fire can burn brightly. Bane has had to hurt him, break him and Talia knows this and so she soothes John but as she does so, she still works on breaking his walls, knows that he will have to experience more pain before he is taken from here. It is cruel but he is so stubborn, so misguided with his belief in Wayne and this city, that he has to be broken so that he can be rebuilt, stronger and with more purpose than he has now. 

The agents coming provide the perfect opportunity to bring him back and also ensure that most in the resistance will think of him as a traitor. She is pleased by how he defends her, how he uses the skills he has been taught without hesitation, how he sheds blood for the first time without his hands shaking. It does not take long to secure him, to revel herself. There is horror and pain in his eyes but it dims once the drugs are in his system and she knows that with time, he will no longer think of this as a betrayal, will understand that she did this to bring him home. 

Soon, they are back with Bane and Barsad. That first night back, Talia watches as Bane places John in his arms. She almost expects a small bit of jealousy to flare at the sight but it does not happen. Bane is hers, nothing will change that, and she will not deny him this chance to have someone else to care for. It would be a waste to throw John’s potential away. She will make sure he will rise with them, will help mold her new little brother. Talia has always trusted Bane and this is no different. The spark he had seen in John will soon be fully aflame and Talia looks forward to seeing how bright it will burn.


	7. Chapter 7

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Finally climbing out of the pit had been difficult but Bruce made it out, made his way back to the city. It is simple to sneak into the city and that is just a little troubling. They might know he is already coming but the trigger hasn’t been pulled, so there is still a chance to save his city. Bruce hopes that the same is true for John.

His city is in a desperate state once he is there and it takes time to figure out a course of action. He is painfully alone, doesn’t see a sign of anyone who could be an ally. It is not surprising to not see Selina, he is sure she took her chance and made her way out of the city. It is disappointing in a way but not unexpected. He finds out all he can on his own, gets himself captured so he can get to Fox. It is a risk but he has to get to a spare suit. It takes effort but he gets both of them out of there and soon he is led to what he needs, Fox catching him up on what has happened, what he knows. 

“Gordon was trying to find a way to get to the trigger or block the trucks but I have no idea how that has went after the agents were caught. I never spoke to Gordon myself but Miranda and I had a contact that did, John Blake.”

Bruce is startled by the name, relieved to have some sort of information about John, to know he escaped somehow. He asks about John and Fox tells him all he can, about how John worked with them, how there were rumors that Bane was looking for him, about the last time he saw him.

“John and Miranda ran when I was captured but if they were caught, they weren’t put with us .From what has been said, Bane has been staying in the courthouse, if he had someone he wanted to keep close that might be where they would be, probably where the trigger is.”

That is where Bruce will go after he has found Gordon, hopes that John is with him. He tells Fox to get to the reactor, gets a device to block the signal, and then looks for Gordon. He finds him and a few of his men on the frozen river, gets to them in time. John is not with them and neither is Miranda and Bruce knows that Bane must have them. He talks with Gordon briefly, gives him the device to block the signal. Before going to the courthouse, he takes care of the men trapped. There needs to be more than just him fighting if Gotham has any chance. 

Soon, he is at the courthouse, fighting in the streets. There is no sign of Bane. He isn’t sure what to make of that, sees the man’s second instead, the one that brought John into the sewers the last time Bruce got to see him. If someone knows where Bane is, he would be the one.

He goes after him, fights him into the courthouse. There is still no sign of Bane and he needs to know where he is, where the trigger is, where John is. There is no one in the courthouse but Miranda, who he tells to bolt the door. She moves away but Bruce does not glance at her as she does so. His focus is still on Barsad, on getting him to talk.

“Where is Bane?”

Bruce needs to know where he is, where he may have John. An answer comes but not from the man in front of him and it is accompanied with a sharp knife into his gut. 

“He has left Gotham, took one of the only things worth saving from here.” 

Miranda is beside him, twisting the knife deeply. Barsad comes besides her, watches Bruce choke out her name, shock mixing with pain. 

“Talia is my true name, Talia al Ghul.”  
She stresses the al Ghul when she tells him this and Bruce knows that he had pieced together what he learned in the pit incorrectly. 

“You were the one to escape, not Bane.”

He had no idea who she was, no inkling that Miranda Tate was not real. She keeps talking, telling him about finding her father, Bane being taken from the pit, his excommunication. Bruce tries to move from the knife but she has twisted it in tightly and he is starting to lose enough blood to weaken him. 

“Where’s John?”

He gasps it out, both needing to know and to distract her enough so that she does not pull the trigger quite yet. It is Barsad who answers.

“Our little brother is where he belongs, by Bane’s side.”

The words are a taunt but said with belief. Bruce can not help but angrily reply to them.

“He is not your anything.”

“Oh, but he is.”

Talia angles the knife as she speaks, inflicting as much damage as she can.

“He ran from Bane, from his true path but he found me and I brought him back to my protector, his protector now. He has started to accept his path and there was no reason for him to see you, to be reminded of the false ideas that you believe in. He will be part of my father’s legacy now, will carry it on with Bane if I do not leave this city.” 

She pulls the knife out, blood pouring out of the wound. Bruce stumbles, tries to lunge towards her. He falls instead, lands on the ground. Talia bends down to him, speaks in almost a whisper, words hurting almost as much as the wound.

“ You will bleed out here as your city burns. Gotham will no longer stain the earth. John will be safe with us, cared for, and will forget all about his life here, about you.”

She gets up once she has spoken, walks away, Barsad beside her. He can not go after them, has to focus on stopping his bleeding. As he puts pressure on his wound, his thoughts drift to John, to what could be happening to him, how Bruce will never see him again. He may not be able to save John but there is still a chance to save his city and so Bruce walks out of the courthouse, bleeding but still willing to do what he must. 

 

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	8. Chapter 8

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Talia barely remembers the shot that hits her after they leave the courthouse, can hardly recall Barsad putting pressure on the wound as he carried her as she told him to make sure the chamber was flooded, does not remember leaving Gotham at all. The pain of the bullet being dug out and Barsad’s soft reassurances are clearer but the first thing that she can recall as clearly as taunting Wayne is waking with Barsad sitting next to her, his hands gentle as he keeps her from rising from where she lays, careful not to touch her shoulder where the wound is. 

“You need to keep still, the bullet is out but you shouldn’t move too much yet. We are out of Gotham.”

There is a tension in him as he speaks, a grimness in his words. He is not looking at her. She stills in her movements, takes a deep breath. There is pain coursing through her and she feels weak but she is alive, will survive. Talia takes his hand with the arm that is easiest to move, puts pressure upon it so that he knows she wants him to listen to her, to speak with her.

“Did you use the codes, secure the bomb?”

She keeps her words steady, does not let her pain show in her voice. She knows he will not think less of her for it but she is used to wearing a mask, of projecting strength and it is a habit that she does not break now. The fate of the bomb is unknown to her. They did not burn with Gotham but it is still possible that the city burned. Barsad looks at her now, a slight shame in his glance.

“I flooded the chamber but you were wounded and others went to secure the bomb. It became a choice between getting you somewhere safe and ensuring Gotham’s fall. I choose you.”

“Did Gotham fall?”

She asks the question but she is pretty sure she already knows the answer, feels disappointment settle over her as she waits for the answer. Barsad squeezes her hand, just a tiny amount of pressure before he speaks.

“I did not stay to make sure the bomb went off but I saw it. It went off over the ocean, carried by one of Wayne’s vehicles. He got it somehow, managed to prevent his city from burning but it may have cost him his life. I am sorry, I failed you.”

There is guilt in his words and he tries to pull his hand away from hers. She does not let him. She is upset but not at him, at herself for not killing Wayne when she had the chance. She had wanted him to suffer and had forgotten what a danger the man could be. This is not something that she can blame Barsad for, he followed her choices and made his own when she could not guide him at the time. He is the best of their men, the only one beside Bane she wanted by her side and he had done what he thought was needed, would not make a choice to go against their mission lightly. She tries to comfort him, does not like the guilt and shame in his face that he is trying to hide from her.

“I am sure you told Bane you would protect me. You have always had more loyalty to him than my father’s memory.” 

She has no doubt that is the reason why he took her from there. Barsad is loyal to her father’s cause but due to Bane’s loyalty to it, her loyalty to it. He shakes his head a little bit at her words, confirmation that he did promise Bane her safety

“It was not just for Bane that I did not wish to let you die from a spare bullet, sister.” 

He looks away from her at his words, at his confession. It is something that has been unspoken for a long time, the fact that Barsad is more than one of their men. He would not serve those that he doesn’t care for and Talia finds herself pulling on his hand, bringing him down to her. She leans forward despite her pain to place a kiss upon his lips. He is just a bit startled but he returns the kiss with a soft press of his own lips. He leans away from her after a moment but he does not try to take his hand away as she speaks and he keeps his eyes upon her.

“You are so very sweet, our faithful Barsad. I would have been content to die with you by my side but living will do just as well. We will have time to see to Gotham’s fall and we did promise our little brother we would see him again.”

She had also promised Wayne that they would take care of John and it is a promise she intends to keep. It will be a fitting revenge to take down Gotham after Wayne’s sacrifice with John standing beside them as he should. She smiles at the thought and then continues speaking with Barsad.

“We will need to contact Bane soon but for now, rest with me.” 

Barsad says nothing to her command, simply lays down beside her, careful not to jar her. He is close to her and she enjoys the warmth of his body. They rest through the night and the days that follow Barsad is not far from her side, seeing to her needs. It takes days but soon she has recovered enough for them to make their way to the mountains. 

Her proctor is waiting for them and Talia is glad to see him, to have him come to her and reassure her that the mission will still happen. She is also eager to see John and they make their way to him, Bane’s presence steadying her as she is still weak from her injury. Their little brother is pale, obviously recovering from an illness but he does not grimace when Barsad greets him, does not demand answers about Gotham. He has a moment when there is a struggle seen across his face when Talia greets him but it passes quickly and he does not flinch from her, does not call her traitor as he has done so in the past. He is letting go of what has been holding him back from being theirs and Talia is glad for it, knows that soon the chemicals can be stopped. They will continue with them for a little longer, just to ensure that there are no slip ups, that John has completely let go of his past, his false purpose. 

They finish up a meal, converse with the others for a bit before separating themselves. She is soon in their chamber, in the bedding they may all share now, John tucked in by her non wounded side as Barsad and Bane go about other duties. She touches a healing mark on his check, a soon to be scar. It does not mar his attractiveness and he does not move from her fingers. 

“When did this happen, little brother?”

“When I fell in the lake. We were fighting, arguing, I wanted to know something, was angry about something when I fell through the ice. I’m not sure what I was upset about it, it feels important.” 

He sounds like he is trying to recall something and Talia is certain that it is not something he needs to think about. She soothes him, makes him focus on now.

“I am sure it does not matter. All that matters is that you are safe, that we are back together as we should be. Bane has taken care of you, would not let any harm come to you.”

John nods at her words, an agreement and then his fingers find their way to the bandages wrapped around her shoulder, touching it for just a moment. It is not a touch done to cause pain and she knows that if they were still in Gotham, it may have been.

“When did that happen?”

His question is curious and Talia is careful in her answer. She does not want him to think of Gotham, of Wayne.

“A while ago, it is healing, do not let it worry you.”

He looks as if he wants to say something else, ask something but she simply winds her fingers in his hair, tells him to rest. He is much more willing to listen now and so he closes his eyes. He is soon asleep and Talia waits for the others to return. There will be much to discuss and plan but she is pleased that John is already starting to let go of his past. Soon, it will be just as she told Wayne it would be and she looks forward to it.

 

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	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely rewrote this chapter at one point so please let me know what you think.

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John had tried so hard to escape this fate, to escape Bane, and it seems there was nothing that could have prevented him being brought back to him. He had not known that they had someone on the outside, that Miranda had been a mask to get what they needed and John had walked right up to her, had started to consider her a friend and she had dragged him back to this hell. He had lashed out at her, at all of them, but they would simply tell them that he was home now, that there was nothing left for him other than them. The drugs they keep giving him make it seem true. In his darker moments, he fears they are right, that too much has changed for him to go back to what he was.

After a while it becomes harder to focus on hating them, on reminding himself that he is not one of them.  In Gotham it was easier to fight them, to try to resist what they were doing but it was still difficult with the chemicals in his system, their soft words in his ears, and Bane holding him as if he is something precious that can’t be let go of.  In the mountains, it is almost impossible for John to focus on anything other than Bane, this life he has been forced into.

That first night after the climb, he is too tired to protest anything, allows himself to give into the warmth that Bane provides.  In the morning, he is a little bit confused, not sure where he is and it is strange to wake with only Bane around him and not the others like it has been since they all started sleeping in the same chamber. It takes a moment to remember that they are no longer in Gotham. He knows that something has happened, that there would be a reason for Bane to take him out of Gotham and Talia and Barsad staying behind and that it must mean Gotham still has a chance to survive. He has to take this chance, has to escape or he will not have anything left. His fingers find the mask. Talia and Bane told him about the pit, about the injuries that still cause him pain that is only lessened by the mask, has seen the chemicals changed by Barsad, seen the scars on his face and the pain in his eyes. All it will take is one little pull and Bane will let go of him, will be overcome with pain.  His fingers still, the thought of doing this feels wrong, to hurt him in this way. Bane wakes and John loses his chance and the next few days he starts to lose the pieces of himself that he clings to desperately.

His whole world is becoming Bane, becoming the men who train him, the League, it is only when he hears whispers that the mission failed, that Gotham lives, does his old life start to become clear in his head once again.  He confronts Bane about it and once he hears him speak about the corruption of his old life , he knows why he was taken out of Gotham, why the city still stands. Bruce lives and with that thought comes hope that breaks just a few moments later at the news of his death.  He wants to hurt Bane, has nothing left to lose because he has taken it all from him and he cuts the mask. The hit sends him across the lake, crashing through the ice and he can feel the water, a pain that feels like a million needles pushing into him and he gives into it. There is nothing left for him and he does not expect to come back from under the water.

 

Bane saves him, won’t let him succumb to his fever. John feels weak, exhausted and it is hard to remember why he hates him when Bane is being so tender, when there was such worry in him at the thought of losing John.  The care he is giving to John is hard to accept, he is not used to people putting so much effort into making him well, keeping his safe.  Most people in his life have either left or been taken from him, have given up on him but it seems like Bane won’t and John is starting to have trouble remembering why this might be a bad thing. He thinks about this as he sits in a warm bath, as Bane speaks to him about John being his, about being John’s, and he looks at the mark on Bane’s throat. He put that there, why would he do such a thing if Bane isn’t his, if this isn’t where he is supposed to be? It is a question he is unsure about the answer to  and he speaks a variation of it out loud.

“This is all I have, there is nothing else for me now, is there?”

“The League is all you have, all you need.”

 

The words are said with a certainty and John is not sure why he should doubt them. He lets Bane help him out of the bathroom, finds his presence besides him almost reassuring and something about that upsets him in a way but he pushes it aside, falls asleep in Bane’s arms.

 

He starts to get stronger as days go by, the effects from his tumble into the lake fading.  Bane is always there, a constant, telling John that he is doing well, that he is safe, that soon Barsad and Talia will be home with them again, that their family will be whole again soon .  John hasn’t had a family in such a long time and the thought of having one now is comforting but it also fills John with a sense of fear and he is not sure why. He is safe here, this is his home, John is starting to know this.

 

They don’t talk of what happened before, of how John came to be here. Everything from before Bane starts to fade a bit, becomes a little harder to recall. Bane tells him what happened before doesn’t matter, what matters is this, John being here, recovering. He rests but he is often bored and is glad when he is given books to read, when he is strong enough to take some meals with the other men. John takes every bit of food offered to him, drinks down his water though at times it seems to have a strange after taste to it.

 

Barsad and Talia return and there is something about Talia that makes him pause, something that used to make him very angry, but it passes and he finds himself alone with her, her fingers soft against his cheek as he tells her about falling in. As he speaks to her, he tries to remember the fight that happened right before, why he was so angry in those moments, so desperately sad as well.  She tells him that it isn’t important, that Bane has taken care of him and he knows that she speaks the truth, knows that he lives because Bane would not let him die.

 

Days pass and he is content for the most part, glad to have something to learn, to have people who care for him but every once in a while there is a feeling that comes over him that this isn’t quite right, that he shouldn’t be all right with laying in Bane’s arms at night, shouldn’t enjoy the feel of his finger against his lips, the closest to a kiss they can share.  Sometimes at night, he dreams about a kiss, about a broken body lying on the floor of a sewer and being dragged away from the man, from someone important but John can’t quite remember who he is. These are the times John thinks he should fight them, should protest what is happening but there doesn’t seem to be much purpose for fighting against them. What else is there for him than this? The League is all he has.

It is not spoken of but John knows he used to have something else, that he was trained for something else. When he is strong enough to start training again, he will think about a different training, go into a stance that Barsad will correct, says is not what he needs but that feels like instinct to him. It is most noticeable when they go shooting one day and John knows Barsad was not the one who taught him this and he wonders who did.

 

 One day, he looks through his clothes, looking for something, something he used to hold in his hand and it would make him feel more sure of himself. He doesn’t find what he is looking for but he finds a pocket knife, blood upon it.  The blade looks dull and he knows that someone gave it to him, because none of his men should go unarmed but he can’t quite remember who.  He is staring at the knife when Barsad comes to him, takes it from his hand.

 

“It is very dull but we can sharpen it. This is the knife that brought you your first kill there is no reason for it to be discarded, little brother.”

 

Barsad calls him little brother often, affection obvious in his tone, but John can hear his voice call him something else, disdain obvious in his tone, a memory that seems clouded right now. He can’t focus on it because Barsad is leading him over to the small table in the room, sits him down and starts to help him clean the knife as Bane and Talia sit near by talking quietly.  It feels comfortable, the four of them here together. John takes the wet stone and the knife when Barsad offers them to him. Barsad has taught him this before but it has been a while since John has done it.

 

“Is this the proper way, brother?,” he asks Barsad as he starts the task of sharpening it.

 

The title comes out of his mouth easily and there is a moment of quiet as if everyone in the room is not quite sure what he has said. He starts to worry that it was not the right thing to say and that sense of being in the wrong place starts to come back to him.  It leaves him as Barsad smiles, tells him that he is doing it correctly.  Bane comes over to him, and John stills in his task for just a moment as Bane tilts his head up, rubs a finger over his lips.  There is a pleased look in his eyes and John lifts his fingers and touches the mask quickly, returning the kiss in a way before going back to sharpening his knife.

 

 

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J


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So really long chapter. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

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Bruce had thought when he had burned down the mountain compound that he would never return there. He had cut ties with the League, had destroyed it, saved Ra’s unknowingly and gone back to Gotham to make a difference. After stopping Ra’s strike against the city, Bruce had put the League out of his mind, and it wasn’t until now, until Bane, until John that Bruce ever considered going back to the mountains, to the place he burned. It is dangerous and he is going alone but there is no other choice, John has been in Bane’s hands for far too long and he fears what will happen if he does not take him home soon. 

As he makes his preparations, as he heals, as he starts attacking other League holdings to draw numbers away, there is a worry that John will be dead, that it was finally decided to just kill him because he would not give into what Bane wants. It is a worry that he dismisses, not out of a sense of hope, but because of Talia’s taunts, Barsad’s words about where John was. They sounded so sure that John is theirs and that sends a different sort of worry through Bruce, that perhaps John may be lost, may be broken and rebuilt. There is no doubt in Bruce’s mind that is what Bane wants, replays the way he had held John close that night in the tunnels. Bruce refuses to let Bane keep him. 

Everything is ready after a time, months, too many, and Bruce starts to make his way to the home of the League. Guilt is his constant companion the whole time. He hadn’t been able to prevent Bane from taking John the first time and he hadn’t escaped the pit early enough to keep John out of Bane’s hands the second time. It had been such a relief when he heard that John had escaped before the occupation but all that came crashing down when the knife slid into his side. He hadn’t seen through the mask Talia wore and it cost him and his city, had cost John his freedom. He would have to see to her at some point but his first priory is John. 

The compound is much the same as before, rebuilt from the ruins Bruce left it in. There are not many men guarding it and Bruce knows that some of his plans have worked. There is something going and as he sneaks in, he realizes that it is a test being performed, an initiation. He watches from where he is hidden and it takes him a few moments to recognize who is being tested. 

It has been so long since he last saw him, a little time short of a year since that night in the sewers, and John looks so different from how he did that night. There is a fresh scar upon his face from what Bruce can see, new muscle upon his frame, and he moves well, has been trained now. He fights but it is not the fight of trying to escape and when he pins Bane down, he lets him up easily, goes to where Bane leads. There is a man being held down and Bruce knows that John is to kill him and he sees the uniform, knows why Bane chose this man out of all the ones he could have. The League has always been about symbols and this is much about John killing who he used to be just as it is a test. 

Bruce braces himself, gets ready to stop John, but there is a moment of hesitation in John, one that hasn’t been there through much of what Bruce has watched and it calms him, lets him know that John isn’t completely remade yet. Bane sees it as well, if his words are anything to go by. 

“You have ended a life before, for Talia. This is no different, it is simple thing and once it is over this will truly be your home. This is all you have, all you need. This is who you are meant to be.”

Bruce wonders what he means about John killing for Talia but it something he pushes aside for now. Bane’s words seem to shift something in John slightly and he makes ready to finish the task. He can not let that happen and so he stops it, grabs John speaks to him. He is struggling in Bruce’s arms and the first words that he says to him crush something inside of him. 

“Why are you trying to take me? Who the hell are you?”

John hasn’t seen his face yet, the mask, doesn’t know who holds him. This is what Bruce tells himself but he is not sure if that is the only reason for John’s reaction. Bane speaks, tells John that he is a traitor and it makes John increases his struggles. He has to calm him down, get him to come willingly and so he tells him that he is going to take him home. 

“I am home.”

It is those words more than John’s hit that causes Bruce to let go. This is not what Bruce wanted to see, is unsure how to react to how John is acting, the way he moves back to Bane even as Bruce tries to stop him from doing so. He lets Bane touch him and the sight makes Bruce angry, sad, and fearful all at once. Something has been done to him, that is the only thing Bruce can think as he fights the other men who come, as he hears John saying something about him seeming familiar. They have made John forget him somehow, what happened before and Bruce has to get through to him somehow. 

He fights Bane and when he has the man to the ground, he feels other arms come up behind him and soon John is attacking him. He doesn’t want to fight John but there isn’t much choice and so he does his best to avoid giving John direct hits and from being hit. The whole time he tries to get through to John, to get him to remember, to fight against what ever has been done to him but it is proving difficult. Bane is there the whole time, saying words to John, reinforcing the ideas that he has somehow placed into John’s head. 

“This is where I belong, I have nothing else.”

Some variation of those words keep being spoken by John or to John and Bruce hates them, almost feels like maybe John is lost now. It is hard fighting both of them at once and soon his mask gets broken, his face exposed and he is sprawled on the ground . John pauses in his attack at this, a spark of recognition in his eyes, just a little bit that gives Bruce an idea.

“This is ours, remember that, only ours, he can’t take it from us.”

He is kissing John, hopes that it will be enough to spark something in him. John is pulled away from him but there are two words spoken and Bruce knows that John is not completely lost yet. 

“Bruce. Batman.”

Bane seems more intent in finishing Bruce off now and John is confused enough still that he lashes out at Bruce. He can’t fight them both He knocks John out, needs to be able to take him from here with out him struggling. Bane is unwilling to let Bruce leave with him and soon a fire is started. Bruce is barely able to get to John, to pick him up and carry him out of the building. Bane had been knocked down and a part of Bruce wants to finish him off but John is his priory now, getting him out of here. He moves quickly with John and this is almost familiar kind of like the first time, trying to get Henry out of here. That had turned out to be a mistake but Bruce cannot think that this might be the same. John can not be beyond saving, Bruce can not allow himself to even consider the though right now. 

He manages to get John to his vehicle and he can see men starting to put out the fire, knows it is possible that Bane has been taken from the blaze before his life was lost. If Bane lives, he might come after John again, will certainly come after Bruce. That is something he will worry about later. Right now, he gets John away from the mountains, will get him back to Gotham as soon as possible. He gives him another sedative, doesn’t want him to wake till they are safe but he takes a moment to look him over. 

There is a mark on his throat, that looks a thumb, Bane’s mark. He was right about the scar on John’s face. There are a few bruises, nothing to really worry about too much. He looks less hurt than the last time Bruce saw him, when he was cover in marks, in Bane’s cum, with his hands tied, but Bruce knows more damage has been done to him than he can see. There are marks on the crook of his arm, needle marks, one that is fairly fresh and Bruce has an inkling of what has been done now, takes a sample of John’s blood so that fox can test it, so they can be certain. 

He takes John to the cave. There really isn’t anywhere else he can take John, knows that a public hospital would not be the best idea right now and John may need to be isolated for a while. He has spent months in the mountains, has been conditioned to behave a certain way the whole time. Shortly after getting back to Gotham, Bruce gets the blood results from Fox, get confirmation of his hunches. John has been drugged repeatedly and it will take time for the effects to wane, for him to recover from this. The first few days are very rough. John is disoriented, has no idea where he is, and he seems to still be unsure about Bruce, about the fact he is alive, about who he is. 

“You’re not real. I just dreamed you. I can’t stay here. ”

These are some of the words John says in those first few days, when he tries to leave. Bruce keeps him here, hates what Bane has done to him. He fights those first few days. Bruce tries to tell him he is away from Bane now, doesn’t have to be afraid anymore.

“I don’t need to be protected from him. He kept me from drowning, wouldn’t let me die. You left me. I’m his, I have nothing else left.”

“That’s not true, it is just what you have been told, been forced to believe.”

Bruce holds John when he says this, makes him look at his face. He knows that he just has to get through to him, that he can’t let John stay like this. John tries to twist away from him but Bruce simply holds him, tries to tell him things to trigger the memories he has apparently buried, to get him back to who he used to be.

“You are Officer John Blake and you figured out who Batman was from the way I smiled. You talked to me about masks, about anger, when you came to me. This is just a mask you have been forced to wear, something to protect yourself.”

Bruce has no idea if John believes him but he starts to calm down. He starts to go through a with draw, his body confused after being exposed to chemicals for so long and not having enough of a gradual decrease. Bruce stays with him, talks to him, shows him all the information he has gathered about him. He even managed to get a hold of his badge from Gordon, reassured the man that John was alive but it would be awhile before he could see him. He gives it to John one day, watches as he looks it over. He turns it over in his hands a few times, traces his name on it with a finger like he can’t quite believe it is real. 

“I think I looked for this once, couldn’t find it, didn’t know what I was looking for. Found a knife instead, couldn’t remember who gave it to me but knew that I killed with it. Barsad said it was important to keep it, to remember my first kill by.” 

John is talking more now, less hostile with Bruce and these words make Bruce curious. He sits down next to John, gently touches his hand that holds the badge. 

“Who did you kill John? Was it in the mountains?”

There is still so much Bruce doesn’t know, things he has had to piece together from what he had heard, from what he has been able to find out. John is quiet for a moment, still turning the badge over in his hand. He speaks and his words are quiet but Bruce is just glad that John is starting to tell him of what happened during that time they were separated. 

“I don’t know who he was but he was going to attack her, I couldn’t let him hurt her. It was before the mountains.”

He doesn’t say much more and Bruce doesn’t push it. He has an idea that it must have happened during the occupation, when Talia was pretending to be Miranda. 

“I dreamed about you, about a sewer. It still doesn’t quite feel real, that you are here. I keep expecting you to disappear.”

He says this as he puts the badge down, as he looks over Bruce before lying down. Bruce puts a hand on his shoulder reassures that he is real. 

After the badge is given to him, Bruce can see John looking at it almost every day. He is starting to change, starting to be more comfortable around Bruce, starts to remember more of his past. Bruce is with him, stays in the cave as well, only leaving when he has to. He made sure there is bedding for them both, thought it would make John more comfortable to sleep alone but he seems to have trouble with it right now. Bruce doesn’t like to think about why John needs to be held to fall asleep but he holds him, doesn’t touch the fading bruise on his neck. 

It is difficult being around John, trying to help him recover the pieces of himself. Bruce has never been good with feelings and this is a complicated situation. He wants so much from him, knows they could have been so much, but what Bane has done lingers between them. Bruce is hesitant to touch John too much, tries not to overstep John’s boundaries. There is a tension building between them, one that is different from the one that was there when john was first brought to the cave. John kisses him one day, says he needs it and Bruce is too selfish to deny him it. Kissing is the one thing Bane could never take from John and Bruce will hold on to this one thing that is just theirs. 

John is starting to seem more whole but there are still moments where he seems unsure, confused. Bruce tells him that it will take time, that Gordon says that there is a detective badge waiting for him when he is ready. 

“I’m not sure I can go back to that. The other men aren’t going to trust me and I don’t know if I can trust myself. They were right about there being flaws in the system and now it is all I can see. I was weak and I gave into what they were trying to shape me into.”

There is such bitterness in his voice and Bruce hates hearing it. John had been so full of hope before all of this. 

“John, you’re not weak. They had to drug you to get to accept what they were trying to force upon you and even then you still hesitated in the final task.”

John nods at his words but he doesn’t seem entirely convinced. This whole time Bruce had planned to bring John home, it never occurred to him that John may not be able to fit into his old life again. He remembers Bane’s words, knows the League will look for John. It is this thought that makes him think of the clean slate, to make a decision for John. He starts making different plans, makes sure Bruce Wayne is alive again. He needs to give the League a target, needs to make sure John is safe even if he can’t be a part of his life soon. He just hopes this is the right choice, that John will be happy once everything is done. -*-*-*-*-*-


	11. Chapter 11

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There are a very few who take a chance with making a move against the League and so these attacks have been worrying. Talia knows that it was not entirely needed for her to head the investigation herself but she could not stand sitting idle. She still cannot do too much physical though her shoulder is much stronger but she can go to the sites of the attacks, help gather information. Barsad has come with her and she is glad for the company. It is a pity that they will miss John’s test but she is certain that he will pass and when they see him again, he will be able to come with them on their next mission.   
They go to the site that is the closet to the mountains, the most recent attack. They had made good time, have only been gone from the compound for a night. It is early in the morning, a chill still in the air, and Talia walks closely beside Barsad. He puts an arm around her after a few moments to keep her warm. If the men with them see it, they say nothing. Talia enjoys the feeling of him close as they make their way through the damaged building. 

There have been only a few injuries, not many casualties. Whoever is doing this does not care to kill. It will be a mistake. The League has nothing against killing their enemies and if this one is enough of a danger, Talia will see to their death herself. Who ever has done this knows what they are doing, has been trained well. There is a thought that enters her head, one that is not very pleasant. She will deal with it when she must. 

There is very little evidence to be found but there must be something. It takes quite a while and when something is found it is by accident. She steps on something, it is small but it does not feel like a pebble or piece of the building. It makes sense to stop, to pick it up. It is a piece of metal, might have had an explosion attached to it at a one point. It is beaten up but the shape is still easy to recognize. It is a bat.

She stiffens when she realizes what it is and Barsad looks at it as well, squeezes her shoulder before turning to the others, barking out an order to get ready to move. They will leave to go back to the compound right away, will spare as little time as they can. There is no doubt in either of their minds that the compound will be attacked soon. 

Wayne lives and the thought angers and distresses Talia in equal measures as they start to make their way back. She should have made sure he died in Gotham. The man is, strong, resilient; Talia could almost admire him if he wasn’t so misguided, if he hadn’t let her father die to save a rotting city. When she had first gone to Gotham, when she first met him, she almost had the idea of seeing if she could bring him back to the fold, get him to embrace the mission her father could not. He had been a shadow of what her father saw in him and she had almost dismissed him completely till John confronted him, brought his spirit back. She had offered him a chance to leave his city but he had not taken it and so his fall began. Now she is certain that he means to take John away from them and that is something she will not allow to go unpunished. 

Her little brother and protector are her main concern as they make their way back to the mountain. There is no guarantee that Wayne has made his way there but they are uncertain of his movements and there are fewer men at the compound at this time. Wayne managed to destroy it once and even though he is broken in so many ways, even damaged men can cause great harm if they feel there is enough to gain. Wayne may just consider John a great enough prize to risk it. 

They make it to the compound and the sight that greets them is terrible. It is not burned to the ground but a large portion of it is. There are men around it, making sure the flames are put out. As soon as they are seen, they are taken to the part that still stands, to their chamber. Bane has been taken there, bandaged as best as he can be right now. It has only been a couple of hours since the flames started and Talia hates that they did not make it in time. Her protector is alive but the beam almost crushed him, burnt a large portion of his back. He will need to be taken from here. She knows who did this and so she simply asks if he was captured. 

“Wayne managed to leave here, our concern was the fire.”

She nods, angry that she will not be able to end him right now for what he has done to Bane but there is a more pressing concern. There is no sign of John and none of the others know where he is. 

“Wayne stole him.”

Barsad’s voice is angry as he realizes that John is not here. John could have left with Wayne willingly but neither of them believes that. Even if he did, Wayne must have coaxed him, tricked him. John does not belong to him anymore and it does not feel right that Wayne may have him again, may try to undo all the progress he has made. 

“We will find John but first we must see to Bane, to any of the other injured.” 

Barsad squeezes her hand for just a moment before helping the others, getting things ready. He grabs a small object from their table before they leave, places it in his pocket. Talia does not worry about what it is. 

She rides with Bane, huddles next to him, holds his hand. It moves only once the whole journey, is not as warm as it is usually. It is very unsettling to see her friend in such a state, to know that he may not survive. She is used to his strength, even his injuries in the pit she only saw the beginnings and aftermath, did not see when he had to cling to life. Death and pain are familiar to her, constant companions but this is almost too much. She does not let tears fall, they will do no good, but she does keep her hold on Bane the whole journey. Barsad is next to her .He does not take her other hand, instead he places his over hers, helps her reassure Bane that they are here. 

Bane lives through the night, the next few days. He seems to awake for a few moments here or there but for most of the time, he is asleep. Talia does not leave his side often, even once he is hooked up to the machines. She hates the sight but she would hate it more if she was not here when he awakes. Barsad leaves only to attend to the duties that must be seen to, taking on Talia’s responsibilities so that she can stay near her protector. It is another sign of his devotion and she cherishes it, holds on to him tightly when they rest. 

Weeks start to pass and there is no sign of Wayne, of John. They could be back in Gotham but it is only a possibility, not a certainty. Talia will not risk too much right now, needs Bane strong again before she makes a move. Every day Bane does not wake makes her feel weaker, less sure of herself. He has always encouraged her fire and with out him, it does not feel as bright. She starts to worry that he may not wake but he has never let her down and he does not do so at this time either. He awakes, his gasps around the tube showing that he is strong enough to breathe on his own again and Talia can feel her own strength returning as well, knows now that they can get vengeance against Wayne.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter after this one and this will be finished. I hope people are still enjoying and please let me know what you think.

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Barsad has always carried a knife upon him at most times. It was a habit that came from needing more than his hands to defend his self with at times, wanting to be armed and knives can be easy to conceal than a gun. The one he currently carries with him at all times is not for defense or to serve as a tool. It is a reminder of his little brother, of John , of what Wayne has taken away. 

The first time Barsad held that knife was the night that Talia had brought John back to them. He had been looking through the apartment she had taken him to, making sure there were no signs that they had been there . The knife had been on the floor of the small bathroom, still open and fresh blood stained the blade. He had picked it up, tested the sharpness of it. It had been a disappointment to know that John had been carrying a dull knife after all of Barsad’s lessons. Barsad had taken it with them, thought it best to have a reminder that John has killed. He had given it back to John, offered to sharpen it, but John had refused, tried to deny their kindness due to stubbornness. When he had started to let go of their past, he had taken Barsad offer as the kindness it was and even called him brother. It is a memory that is cherished even now that John has been taken from them.

Barsad takes the knife out almost daily, sharpens and cares for it. Talia sees him do it those first few weeks while Bane sleeps, does not say much about it, but she makes sure there is always a wet stone in the room. He is thankful for the gesture, makes sure that she is kept aware of the League’s business while she stays by Bane side and they are both there when he awakens. It is good to have Bane healing and awake but there is still a hole where John should be.

There is no sign of him and once Wayne makes himself known, there are no records of him either. It frustrates them all and Barsad finds himself pulling out the knife even more as the weeks pass, as rumors of Batman surface. It will not leave his possession until he can give it back to his little brother or he can sink it in to Wayne. The killing blow will be saved for Talia or Bane but Barsad is certain that they will allow him that indulgence. The time for that may come soon as there are rumors of another working with Batman and it is this that makes Barsad offer to leave their side and return to Gotham. 

“I will send news as soon as I have it. Perhaps Wayne did not hide John as thoroughly as we thought.” 

“Stay hidden, stay safe.”

Talia whispers her words into his ear as she embraces him, holds tight for just a moment. He strokes her hair in return, tries not to let a blush stain his cheek as he feels Bane watch them. Their brother says nothing of their tenderness but there is pleased glint to his eyes when Barsad looks over though there is just a hint of loss to it as well. Barsad simply goes to him, grips his shoulder for just a moment and promises to find out as much as he can, as soon as he can.

Gotham is not much changed, just a little more damaged. It is not difficult to blend in, to hide. His face had been known but most of Gotham does not watch closely enough and Barsad is careful to avoid those who do. He makes contacts, some of their own men are sent with him and he waits and watches. Soon, he is able to get a name, Nightwing and soon after that a photo. 

Most of his news that he sends is about Nightwing and they all believe that they know who it is but there is still no sign of John and this could just be a trick on Wayne’s part to draw them out. Barsad has him watched closely, does some of it himself. Wayne makes appearances around town, plays the part of billionaire playboy trying to change his ways and make a difference but it is when he goes about town not playing his part that catches Barsad’s attention. Wayne knows how to hide, dresses down and blends in and Barsad notices he goes to specific part of town, to a small apartment. He has it watched and it is during one of his own shifts when he sees what they have all been waiting for, takes a picture. Wayne had taken John back here.

Barsad watches him from a far the rest of the day, as he goes to a construction site, helps with some of the rebuild. He is careful to not let John’s eyes see him but he is almost caught. John does not see him but there is more caution to his steps when he walks back to the small apartment. Wayne goes there later in the day and Barsad sees them on the fire escape, sees a small kiss exchanged before they go back inside. His little brother is intimate with Wayne and Bane will not be pleased. He sends news and watches John as much as he can, wants lots of details to share with Bane and Talia once they are closer to here. 

It is fascinating to watch him now, to see how he is after months of being away from them. He has not returned to being the idealistic cop he was when Barsad first took him from the streets over a year ago but he is also not quite the little brother they molded in the mountains. He is in-between and Barsad wonders which side is stronger, how much work will need to be done to rid him of his past again, of Wayne’s influence. 

The night before he is to see Bane and Talia for the first time in a while, he watches Nightwing fight. He recognizes John’s form, remembers how much practice it took to get him to move so fluidly. He is more their little brother when he fights, can not hide the skills they have taught him though they are not on full display right now. John is pulling punches, does not go for as many damaging blows as Barsad knows he can.He is outnumbered but it is only three of them and so Barsad does not worry, watches from where he is safely hidden. 

One of the thugs is stronger and more clever than the other two and it is this one that has a knife. He almost manages to stab John deeply in the shoulder but he is not fast enough and it is dodged but only just. It cuts but not a deep wound and Barsad watches as the tables are quickly turned against the thug. John disarms and Barsad can hear the snap of fingers from where he is. It is a beautiful sound and John does more than just break the man’s fingers. He does not hold back any right now and when the others try to protect their companion, John knocks them out quickly. His focus is now on ending the threat. He has the man on the ground, is about to deliver a final blow when another figure comes on the roof, grabs John’s hand before it can drive the knife down. 

“Stop, we don’t kill.”

The words are growled out by Wayne, who holds John’s arm, doesn’t let go till the knife is dropped. Barsad watches for a few moments as John doesn’t say anything, as the man gets up just to be knocked unconscious by Batman. He notices how Wayne made sure to do it before John could, how Wayne makes John leave the roof first. It is very interesting and it appears that Wayne has not been able to tame John to his ideals completely. It is news the others are glad to hear when he visits the next day. 

The next few weeks Barsad follows John closely, lets him get a few glimpses of him. Not enough that he will be able to know who follows but enough that he knows he is being watched. Barsad watches when John receives a package, watches him open at his doorway. He takes the book out and there is just a hint of worry in his eyes but something else as well. Barsad is certain that John is thinking of them often now, that the book is just enough to bring thoughts of their family to the surface for him. When it is time Barsad will give him another gift, a reassurance that he will be home soon.   
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	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the fic that was supposed to be a one shot that became two stories is finally finished. Thank you for reading and sorry that I left it a bit open-ended.

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When Bruce first brought John to the cave, all John had wanted to do was return to the mountains. He felt at the time that is where he was meant to be, that Bruce had taken him from his family. They had twisted him up so much that he hadn’t thought himself a captive anymore, had believed what they told him. Bane had made him feel cared for, protected , like the only thing he had was them and so he fought Bruce those first few days, tried to escape the cave.

Bruce would physically restraint him when needed, hold him but he only used as much force as he had to and John did not fight him as strongly as he could have. He wanted to trust Bruce, a part of him knew that he wouldn’t hurt him, but there was another part that insisted that he needed to be back with Bane. It took time, withdraw from the drugs and Bruce’s constant words and focus to get John to stop fighting him, to remember his old life before Bane. 

It was stifling being the full focus of Bruce’s attention, just as it had been with Bane but it was different. Bane had touched him constantly, not just sex but would put his arms around him, touch his face. Bruce would hesitate when touching John, only really holding him when John tried to leave or at night because John couldn’t sleep alone very well.   
The first few nights Bruce had either stayed awake or tried to sleep away from John but eventually John would move to his bedding, needed the contact, needed to know Bruce was real. He kissed him for much the same reason, wanted something Bruce could give him, something Bane hadn’t been able to take from him completely. 

Bane had told John his past didn’t matter while Bruce would bring it up, had dozens of pages of John’s history spread out for him, even got his badge. John would look at the pages every so often. It was like looking at someone else’s life a times. It took time for it to connect with him, to remember how much he had fought Bane before, why he had fought him. Bane had isolated him so much that he had to detach himself from his life to feel right and now Bruce isolated him to try to get him to claim it again. John isn’t sure he can.

His time with Bane has changed him, made him doubt so many things. Bruce tries to reassure him, tries to get him to think of himself as Officer Blake. He starts to get back the pieces of himself he seemed to lose in the mountains, feels comforted by the news of Gotham being rebuilt but he can’t go back to who he was before Bane. John also knows he can’t stay in the cave forever and he is uncertain what he should do. 

His world is almost smaller than it had been in the mountains, just him and Bruce. John starts to get comfortable with him, no longer thinks about Bane’s hands on him at night, but Bruce starts to leave he cave for longer periods of time, starts to bring both of his selves back from the dead. They don’t talk about it and Bruce hasn’t mentioned Gordon’s offer of a Detective badge in a while. John feels uncertain about his future, a feeling that only increases one day when Bruce hands him some papers.

John glances down at them and the first thing he notices is a plane ticket, one way across the country for one person. The next thing is the id with a name that isn’t his. There is also information about an apartment, a bank account, basically anything John would need to start a new life, one away from Gotham, from Bruce.

“What the hell is this? Are you just sending me away?”

John can’t help the bitterness in his voice, the confusion over what these papers mean. Bruce stays calm, voice sounding rehearsed when he speaks.

“You said you couldn’t go back to the police, this will be a fresh start. I erased all traces of you in the system. You will be safe.” 

“You just decided to erasure my life, give me a new one without ever talking to me about it?’ 

John is starting to get angry, upset that another choice has been taken away from him. He is shaking and Bruce tries to touch his shoulder but John moves away.

“I did this for your own good.”

Bruce’s tone isn’t like Bane’s but the words almost could be his and John loses it.  
“That is what they kept saying, what Bane said. “

Those words are like a punch to Bruce and John can see guilt in his eyes. 

“I can’t change what happened to you but I can give you a chance to escape from it, to be hidden from them.” 

He doesn’t comment on the comparison John made and his words are filled with just a hint of sadness. The anger is still there but John pushes it aside, knows they need to talk about this. 

“I can’t escape what happened. I don’t want to leave Gotham, that’s what they wanted, me to give up on my city. I can’t go back to the police but there has to be something besides you simply sending me off to live some made up life I didn’t choose.” 

Those words seem to get through to Bruce a bit but it takes a lot more time and arguing to come up with a plan, one that they both agree to. 

John starts a tentative new life, has a small apartment, a new name. It hurts a little to not be able to be who he used to be but he has purpose, has Bruce. It is difficult still dealing with everything that happened and John sometimes dreams about it, wonders if he is ever going to be able to recover fully. The League training is still fresh on his mind and sometimes he is too vicious when he attacks, has to be sopped from killing. When it happens, John worries that maybe he can’t be who this city needs, that he is too tainted now. He tries to push it aside but he knows it is only a matter of time before the League surfaces again, before John may be forced back into a life he never wanted. 

He tries to tell himself that everything in the mountains doesn’t matter, that Bane won’t try to take him back, will finally see John as an enemy but some things start to happen that worry him. It is just small inklings that he is being watched, nothing to big but one day a package arrives, no return address, no sender. He opens it and it makes him freeze.

It is only a book, nothing too fancy or strange, but it makes him remember the books he was given in the mountains and before. Talia took pride in picking him out books, would read them to him when they were both healing and the title blazed across the cover is one she had mentioned before. He should throw it away or give it to Bruce, to check to see if there is any evidence left on it. He takes it inside, doesn’t mention it, but it is on his mind constantly. They know he is here. 

It is several nights later when he is given another gift, this one delivered in person. 

John had been patrolling, tracking a thug in the narrows. This is the part of the city that John had been found in, been captured and brought to Bane. He did not like being here. He had lost the man briefly but found where he was quickly enough. When John got to the alley way, the man was leaning against a wall and it was only when John got closer that he saw he was dead, a knife pinning him there. 

It is just an old pocket knife but when John pulls it out of the body, the weight of it is familiar and it makes fear settle in John’s gut. He is stunned by it enough that he almost doesn’t sense the person coming behind him but he dodges the first blow and returns his own. 

“I have kept it sharp for you, little brother.” 

The title is almost comforting in a way and Barsad has a glint of fondness in his eyes as he dodges John’s next blow. John clenches the knife in his fist as he fights Barsad. 

“I’m not your brother.”

The words almost feel like a lie when he says them and Barsad simply moves away from John’s next blow. There is just a hint of a smile upon his face and his next words are accompanied by a kick to John’s gut that sends him sprawling across the alley.

“Not a full brother, not yet, but we will bring you home soon Do not worry, Bane has not forgotten you, little bird.” 

John has had some air knocked out of him from his landing and he can’t get up fast enough. Barsad is fast and he makes his way quickly out of the alley. John wants to chase him but those last words make him stop. He can’t allow himself to follow Barsad, to possibly get captured. 

When he makes it back to the cave, he hands the knife to Bruce, tells him what happened. They will need to be prepared. John doesn’t know if he can keep himself together if Bane gets a hold of him again. He lets Bruce hold him a little closer that night and tells himself that he is not Bane’s, that he will never be his again. He is not sure he believes it.


End file.
